Bittersweet

Sometimes when my gaze upon him
Slowly drifts off into a daze
I get this clench in my chest
Leaving me short of breath

Forever, forever
As the reality settles in
There’s nothing such as
Forever, forever

So as this bittersweet feeling
Leaves me feeling bereft
Lie to me
Lie to me
Lie to me

Lie.

It’s weird because when I think back now, it seems like everything was just a blur. I look at photos and I feel so distant.

"Who was this guy and how long did I know him for?"
"Ah, we must not have known each other that well."

It says a lot about you when you can sleep easy while my world is in turmoil and you don’t seem to give any fucks.

I thought I was ready but I realize now that I am too scared to be back in the place I was before. If everything goes to hell, I don’t know if I can handle it. That amount of pain will crush me. Can I learn to trust? To have faith? To endure through the change?

the risk

I once heard that
     fear 
        is the heart of love

as time passed
     many things came
        hand in hand

the smiles of those in pain
     the colours that filled black outlines
        dreaming dreams of lies
and that of life and death

and for the first time
I wanted
     the madness
        the sadness
           the worries and fears
will be reason enough
for you
     to stay

- valentine

It’s night like these where I’m too tired to overthink and I just ponder about how life ended up like how it did.